Oh no, what will happen?
by lilsandstorm
Summary: England and America go to McDonalds. France appears. The best USUK story ever. This is a joke poking fun at some of the fanfics out there.


AN/ I actually wrote this story, unlike my sister who usually does.

USUK.

One day, England was tending to flowers, simply because he liked gardening.

America, his perfect boyfriend came striding along to him.

"Hi England, I love you" America said, his sexy abs glowing in the sunlight.

"I love you too, you shitty wank faced bloody wanker" England replied, because he was tsundere and English.

"Shall we go to McDonalds, because that's where we should go, and I eat hamburgers all the time, and that is where the plot begins"

-whatamiwriting-aparodyifyoudidn'tknow-

America and England ate their food in silvery silence, in McDonalds.

"I don't like this, this tastes like shitty crap from a bottom of a unicorns arse" England drawled dryly. Not that he was drawling or speaking dryly, but he was English so he spoke like an Englishman.

America beamed, his 100 watt smile radiating across the whole land "Ok, baby, whatever you say" America said as he loved England for his ways of saying stuff as the English accent was SEXY.

America went to the toilet.

AND THEN FRANCE STRODE IN.

"Oh hi Angleterre, this is the belle nation of France, parler in very bad google translated French" France said.

"Oh god no. Not google translate" England said, his voice in a whisper. But France still heard the whisper because he was amazing.

"Google translate is merde, non? J'ai will now rape you England as J'ai been pining for you for hundreds of years. Je suis very obviously bad as je suis obviously a rapist. Not just a pevert played for laughs, no je suis an evil rapist" France laughed. He then took England by the hand who was suddenly very weak and dragged him outside without any resistance.

America came back from the toilet. He noticed that England was not there. He smelt Frances perfume in the air and immediately figured it out.

"I coming for you England!"

He ran out of McDonalds, and found France and England in an alley very quickly because America ran on pure awesome.

France was kissing England roughly. OH NO!

"I AM THE HERO AND I WILL PROTECT YOU ENGLAND!" America shouted.

He ran and punched France as he had super strength and then picked up England, who was on the ground.

England was sobbing uncontrollably because he was sensitive and emotional and he had almost been raped.

"Don't worry, the hero is here and I'm heroic and I am the hero and I will be heroic as I am the hero"

"Git, I love you, bloody wanker" England said, snuggling into the hero's coat.

They then went home and had sex.

France was never heard from again. We'll all presume he's dead, okay?

-thenextday-

America woke up to the sound of throwing up. He rushed to England's side who was in the bathroom. Did I forget to mention that he was in the bathroom? Well he was.

England looked to America teary eyed. "I'M PREGNANT."

America was shocked. "OH MY GOD. IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE?"

England sighed angrily. "IT IS NOW"

-A few days later-

They woke up to the sounds of drums in the distance. The demons had come.

America looked to England. "THIS IS NOW AN AU. We are super cops battling evil demons so get your act together ARTHUR!"

And then Alfred and Arthur saved the world from demons (who were led by Ivan as he IS A BAD GUY) through the power of love, and awesomeness.

Arthur had twins because they always seem to have twins even though they're rarer then single births, but hey, twins are cute.

THE END.

Translations: (I think. I'm pretty sure but if someone fluent in French tells me otherwise I apologise.)

'belle' is beautiful.

'Merde' is 'crap'

'J'ai' is 'I' as in 'I have': 'J'ai fait'= 'I have made' or 'I made' or it can be simply used like ' J'ai un Poisson' = 'I have a fish'.

'Je suis' is 'I am'

'Parler' is 'talk'. It doesn't make sense in the fic but this way it's more stupid

…yes I hate google translated French. I understand if you want the story to be more realistic but France saying random words in French, when really what you want is exclamations or affections not words like 'but' or 'I'.

AN/

So I mashed SOME of the cliché things that happen in USUK fanfiction's and then wrote the story badly. With some fourth wall breaking.

I love USUK really, though. There are really amazing stories that I could never write in a thousand years.


End file.
